Rosiebluestar's Blog

Photography * Music * Art

Stretched too Thin

I feel like I have so much to say but don’t know where to start.  Work’s been super stressful, taking on some new responsibilities that I’ve never done before.. I feel as though I’ve been stretched too thin.  I know it’s appreciated but I can only handle so much.  Not only that but I’m also tackling my part time job, bookkeeping, as well.  The more I seem to take on, the more I just want to throw my hands up and say back off !  I’m getting that feeling of there’s not enough hours in the day and I have this eternal “to do” list in my head.  I’ve been the “yes” girl for too long, I need to start saying no more often for my own sanity.  I feel awful cause I haven’t seen my mom and dad in awhile and I know that it’s cause I relate seeing them to working as I do bookkeeping with them at their house.  I’m now getting this awful feeling as I enter their apartment and I hate it.  I don’t want to associate them with work, it breaks my heart.

Big changes are coming at work and I’m really really trying to keep a positive outlook on everything but there’s this energy hovering over everyone, this energy of fear, not knowing what’s going to happen, new faces at work, new computer program to be used..  I know once everything falls into place it will be better but until then there’s the unknown.

On to some positive news .. I’ve now lost 23lbs and I’m feeling really good.  There was a few days there that I wasn’t walking and all I wanted to do was sit on my ass and do nothing, but I know it’s in my best interest to keep exercising. I’ve gone on some really good walks in the last few days, about 5kms each and its been stupid hot.  Sweaty for sure!  Another thing is I never heard back on my ultrasound so I’m sure that everything’s okay, no news is good news I hope!

Im really really really looking forward to going to Mayne Island in about a week’s time, I definitely need it…  phew

 

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Fitter, Happier, More Productive ..

So I weighed myself tonight, down another pound, this is now 19lbs in total.  I can totally feel the changes in my body and feel awesome!  More energy and I feel less uncomfortable.  I’ve had a lot of people recently notice my weight loss which is always nice since I now know the differences can be seen by others and not just me.

I’ve had some issues with my back as of late, been getting sharp pains and numbness on my left side just under where my bra strap sits.  It gets sore when I walk which is strike 2 for body aches .. makes me mad since I’m only trying to help my body.  Either I’m being sent these messages cause my body doesn’t like the walking or maybe I’m just overdoing it, I dunno.  I think I’m going to set up another appointment with my Chiropractor or go see a massage therapist.

I had an ultrasound of my liver, spleen and surrounding areas on Tuesday, my new doctor wanted me to get one to make sure that my organs are healthy and since once again my liver enzymes were up in my blood test results.  They said the results would be sent to my doctor in about a weeks time, hopefully I don’t hear back from them. No news is good news.

The weather’s been really depressing lately, this is the coldest June we’ve had in many years and I really can tell the difference in how I feel when it’s sunny outside.  All this rain and gloominess is a real downer.  It’s supposed to rain again tomorrow and be sunny for Sunday then back to rain and cloudiness during the week.  Next weekend, which is the long weekend is supposed to be scorching hot, Im trying to get my parents to go away somewhere.  We might go to Seattle for a couple of days, we`ll see.  I was hoping we could go to Mayne Island but it looks like that`s not going to happen.  My parents have booked the cabin there though for a week in July, the 20th to the 29th so I`ll go over there on the first weekend and spend a couple days there.

Ive been counting down the days to our Oregon trip, just a month and a bit now until we go!  Im really looking forward to this, I need to have some sanity again and I always feel like Im home when Im there.

Well its a Friday night and I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and watch some Mad Men.  Hopefully the rain can stop enough tomorrow that Leonne and I can go for a walk, we shall see.

Goodnight

xoxo

 

Life’s Roller Coaster

So it’s been a long time since I’ve written last and there’s quite a bit that has changed in my life since my last entry.  I’ve unfortunately put Rosie’s Sweet Stop on the back burner as I’ve had some health concerns pop up. Less than a week ago I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes, I’m not ashamed to admit it but the battle in my head has been a fierce one to let people know.. will people think less of me, will they think oh she’s fat she has Diabetes, will they feel sorry for me.. the list is endless.  I’m happy to say that this has been caught early as I’ve had regular blood work done yearly for the last 6 or 7 years and nothing has come up in the past, just a few months ago when I had my physical done.  I’m also happy to say that with all my other blood test results that came back nothing else points towards Diabetes which means that nothing else has been affected.  My doctor has put me on a low dose of medication and wants me to continue to eat right and exercise.  So far I’ve lost 16 pounds and I have absolute faith that with regular exercise and continuing to eat well that I will kick this in the butt.  I am determined and when I want something bad enough I will achieve it.  I have to go back to see my doctor in 3 months time and see how my progress is.  I’m setting the goal of losing at least another 16 pounds by the time I see him again.

My choice of exercise right now is walking, I walk around 4km every time, about a 40 minute walk, going on average about 5 days a week. Yesterday I was told by my Chiropractor to not go for my walks since I’ve been having knee issues and my right knee is inflamed.  He told me to not do any exercise for 2 weeks and to ice it.  I told him that I can’t NOT exercise, so he told me that I can do the elliptical or the bike but to watch my rotation and to not overdo it.  I’ve decided that I will continue to go for my walks and if my knee starts to click as it has been then I need to stop.  My fear is that if I stop exercising all together that I will lose motivation and I’ve been doing so well that I can’t afford to stop now.  My knee doesn’t hurt right now my concern was the noise that it was making, I figure as long as it isn’t painful that I will continue to do what I have to do but will stop when it starts to hurt.  I know this sounds silly but I’ve been putting up with knee ailments all my life and for what has transpired right now with my health, exercise is more important.  The last 2 days I have gone to the gym, it’s been alright but I find the gym gets boring and I prefer to be out in the fresh air, especially since my gym has no windows, nothing to look at but the person working out in front of you.

Seems odd that a few years ago I had written in a journal that it would take a medical scare to make me really take weight loss seriously, and now I have one.  I’m so good at manifesting,  sigh.  I will keep writing here to keep myself motivated and to track my progress.

Here’s to getting healthy!!

My Dream, My Reality

I AM OVER THE MOON!  I had an amazing dinner with my parents and Dawn tonight!  We had gotten onto the topic of my job and Dawn asked me “What do you really want to do?” and I told her about my dream to open up a coffee shop/bakery and involve my Mom in it by having her artwork up on the walls and for sale.  That sparked a conversation and brainstorming session that lasted a couple of hours!  I honestly feel like this is what I was meant to do, I’ve always liked cooking and baking and have always complained that I never have anyone to share my food with.  I feel like this is my outlet.

I’ve started a notebook with ideas that I’ve been scribbling down and jotted down things I need to do. I want to do this step by step and a little bit everyday, I can’t overwhelm myself.  Everything I do will add up to the final outcome and I know this will happen.  I have so many supportive people in my life and when I was thinking of different things like money and loans I was reminded that my Aunt is a bank manager and I can ask her all sorts of questions.  Also if I need any renovating done I can always ask my friend Dave who’s a steel stud framer and my best friends Dad, he’s an amazing handy man.  I have RESOURCES!

Dawn and my Dad were talking about having a space that they can do EFT classes or sessions and also having space for my Mom to do art classes.  This will benefit not only me but them too!  I have visions of my mom’s artwork on the walls and selling her art cards and prints, even having some of my photos up and selling them as well.  I can also bring in other artists who can use wall space to sell their pieces.  Dawn also talked about doing a used book wall, I could buy old books for cheap and sell them for cheap or even have a used book exchange!  I’d have a kids play area too, with easels and crayons, maybe even do kids birthday parties!  Art projects and cake!  🙂   The possibilities are endless!

My first step is to claim my business name, I have a few picked out, I have 2 that are the top runners.  I’ll post the name when it’s official.  I’m also going to design a logo when the name becomes official.  I’m glad I have my Mom to turn to for that.  🙂  After that it’s business cards, I’ll do up some dummy ones on Vista Print and until I have a shop space I’ll just use them to advertise myself.  I also need to redo my Serving it Right and Food Safe courses, apparently you can do them online now!

I need to brainstorm a menu too, what baked goods I’m going to sell, am I going to serve hot food too?  Soups, sandwiches, pot pies, paninis.  And what beverages I could sell, I’d need to figure out what coffee to have, am I going to invest in getting equipment for mochas, hot chocolates, lattes, etc ..

This is the first day I’ve really put this into action, it’s something I’m passionate about and I have to remind myself that if I look at the bigger picture it’s going to look too BIG and out of reach, but if I look at the small goals and check things off my checklist one thing at a time it will look more attainable.  If I think about it each day and picture it in my mind, see the area in my head, the walls, smell the food and the coffee, see my customers faces, it can be reached.  I’m giving myself a year to get myself organized, by this time next year I want to have my space opened and running successfully!

 

IT WILL BE DONE  😀

Furry Manifestation

So today I had a visit from a furry friend .. Bo was sitting on the window sill and started to meow and get rather excited about something she could see in the back garden.  I looked out the window and there was a HUGE tabby sitting there munching on some long blades of grass.  It didn’t seem to be bothered by us looking at it and wasn’t scared at all so I decided to open the door and see if it would come over to me.  I bent down and put my hand out and called it over by making some noises and sure enough it came over to me and let me pet it.  I could tell that it was a male cat and it had a sweet disposition.  I spent a good 30 minutes outside with it, just letting it bump against me, letting its head hit my feet or my knees as I sat there cross legged.  He kept purring and rolling around on the ground, even letting me pet his tummy, which is very rare for cats as they usually are super ticklish in that area.  I kept thinking how much he reminded me of my old cat Buster, who I grew up with, who was also a tabby and also had an amazing character and so friendly.. this tabby also had the white apron patch on his chest, and white paws just like Buster did.  Just last night my friend Leonne and I had been talking about Buster and then today this little furry creature comes in the garden and says hello.  It seriously brought a tear to my eye since I have such fond memories of Buster, towards the end of having him he wasn’t well.  He ended up basically turning on as we moved from a house to a townhouse and he went from a 90% out door cat to a complete indoor cat in one day.. poor guy, he never was the same after that.

Looking at Tigger, (yes I’ve named this cat Tigger) I could tell just how outdoorsy he was, with little bits of twig and debris in his fur and his paws were well worn and the pads on his feet were thick.  He had a scar on his left ear, almost like a battle wound.  I remember Buster used to have a little tear in one of his ears and always was coming home with battle wounds.  It’s so different to now have an indoor cat and how pristine they always stay, nails always sharp, fur perfect, no scars… spoiled !

Tigger ended up staying on my door mat for about 30 mins after I went inside and I even opened my door just a crack so Bo could sniff him and just to see what their reactions would be towards each other.  Tigger just sniffed inside the door and looked like he wanted to come in, he had his head low but didn’t let out a single meow or hiss and of course Bo hissed at him when he came close, but she didn’t swat at him.  I didn’t want to see what would happen if there was less space between them, I don’t need to be breaking up a cat fight.  After that he went and sat up on my landlords back steps that lead up to their patio, soon after that he was gone.  I wonder if I’ll see him again…

check out the pictures of Tigger below!

 

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Sisterly Love

I had a great night tonight hanging with my sister.  Got there about 6:30pm, had an amazing chocolate brownie with Smartie ice cream.  Clare had made the brownies the night before and they were amazing!. Then we watched Cars 2 with Jillian and James. Soon after the movie was over the kiddies went to bed and we stayed up and watched cooking shows, ate popcorn and had a nice bitch session about working at the bank. I looked through Clare’s Ina Garten cookbooks and got inspired! Clare was telling me how she made her recipe for Parmesan Chicken with a spring mix salad and lemon vinaigrette. I’m going to make this tomorrow for dinner, sounds so yummy!I think I might invest in getting the set of cookbooks, everything in there looked amazing!

I have to admit that I only now feel like I’ve gotten my relationship back with my sister, not that we ever lost touch but I can now fully appreciate the person and Mother she’s become. I think that comes with maturity on my part and learning how relationships should be, especially with Clare. I love the fact that she’s given me my amazing niece and nephew, Jillian and James, I’m absolutely crazy about them. I always imagine someday having children of my own but as I get older I’m just glad to have them in my life, they teach me how to be a kid again and how pure things are when you’re a child. I’m forever grateful.

I’m looking forward to Clare’s Birthday in 2 weeks time, we’re going to have dinner and I’m going to make a cake, white with lemon frosting, or something along those lines, and then we’re going to have a games night! Can’t wait!

Alright time for BED.

Recipes

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/parmesan-chicken-recipe/index.html

http://www.food.com/recipe/lazy-gourmets-chocolate-brownies-367614

 

New Obsession

Alright so I have a new band that I’m officially obsessed with, Friendly Fires .. they’re from St. Albans, England.  I remember seeing their video for Skeleton Boy years ago and thinking what a great song it was.  I always tried to remember the name of the band and for some reason could only think that it reminded me of war.  Finally after 4 years I come across them again on the Graham Norton show the other night and looked them up on YouTube.. voila!  FOUND THEM AGAIN.  I immediately listened to a bunch of songs and fell in love!  Since then I have purchased both of their albums from iTunes and don’t have a complaint about either album.  Both are upbeat, energetic and melodic.  Ed MacFarlane’s voice is one I could listen to for hours.. plus he’s easy on the eyes.  😉

I’ve watched a few interviews on YouTube as well and have the utmost respect for the group, one who knows that they don’t make a lot of money through record sales but love touring and giving back to their fans.  Ed is known for his onstage dancing techniques, full of energy and life, totally makes you want to join in.  Totally puts me in a good mood.

Top songs to check out.. Skeleton Boy, Hawaiian Air, Jump in the Pool, Hurting, Live Those Days Tonight, Kiss of Life, Helpless .. better yet just download both their self titled album and Pala .. far from disappointing !